Just Once
by Noda2
Summary: How I would have liked to see Captain's Hand end.


Captain Kara Thrace looked up at newly promoted Commander Lee Adama. "Are we okay?"

Lee's face twitched into the beginnings of a smile. "Yeah, we're okay."

Kara rose off the bunk and melted into his arms, hugging him close. They'd been through so much. They always went through so much. She and Lee had more drama in their lives than any ten people she knew. Well, maybe not. One of her best friends was having a baby with a Cylon. That pretty much took the prize for drama. Lee brought her back to the present as he pulled her closer, burying his face in her neck. It felt good. Too damn good for a man who was seeing another woman. Kara tried to pull back, but Lee held her tighter.

"Don't," he whispered in her ear.

"Lee. . . ."

"I know," he sighed. "I know." But still he didn't release her. "I've missed you so much. I'm sorry I said such hateful things about getting shot. It's just that when you didn't come see me. . ."

Kara struggled out of his arms. "Didn't come see you? Is that what you think? Lee, I was there every day." She took a deep breath and soldiered on. "But you weren't alone. I didn't want to interrupt anything." Kara couldn't bring herself to say Dee's name. Somehow if she voiced it, the woman would be in the room with them and Kara wasn't ready to give him up yet.

"But I thought. . . ."

"I know. And I let you believe it. I thought it was just easier that way, considering certain changes in your life."

Lee simply nodded and pulled her close once more. "Doesn't mean I haven't missed you, though. And then you requested to go to Pegasus. I knew you were running away and that pissed me off, too."

"And now you're going to 'tame the Beast', and I'm going to be here on Galactica. Could our timing suck more?"

"I don't see how," he said, smiling into her hair.

As much as she wished this moment with him could last, she knew it couldn't. "You're going to miss your transport. I know, because I'm flying it."

Lee pulled back to look into her eyes. "Then you can just tell your hot shot pilot, Ms. CAG, that Commander Adama isn't ready to leave yet."

Kara nearly giggled. "That sounds so odd in reference to you. Does this mean we can start calling you 'the Old Man' now, too?"

Narrowing his eyes at her he said, "Just try it."

Kara held his gaze, willing the time between them to last an eternity. She felt the familiar butterflies in her stomach as she stared at him. Probably the reason she ran whenever he came too close. She could take on a squadron of Cylons, but the way Lee Adama made her feel scared her to death. He still held her hands, unwilling to let go. Trying to break contact, Kara reminded him, once again, it was time to leave.

"Grab your gear, Commander. We need to get you to your ship."

"Kara, wait. Are you really in such a hurry to see me gone?"

Kara's expression softened at his words. "Gods no, Lee! But you do have a command to think of now."

Looking at his chronometer, Lee noted, "not for another two hours. We could do a lot of damage in that amount of time."

Kara didn't pretend to misunderstand him. She just stood there, gaping at his suggestion. "Look, if you need a quick frak for a send off, I think there's a woman upstairs who would be more than willing to help you out. In fact, I'd put money on it. She's probably wondering where the hell you are."

For a second Lee looked remorseful, but the emotion was gone as he stepped closer to her. "I'm not going to tell you this is right. It isn't. But I can't help it. I realized these last few weeks that I need you, Kara. As frakked up as that may be when I'm with another woman, I can't stop the way I feel."

Kara stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest. "So, I'm supposed to just roll over and let you frak me because you've had some epiphany? What about me? Doesn't how I feel count for anything?"

"Of course it does."

"And I assume when you're done with me, you'll go back to her. Lee, you and I can never be frak buddies. If we could, we would be."

"I'm not asking you to be my frak buddy, Kara."

"Then what are you asking?"

Lee looked sad, shoulders sagging in defeat. "Just let me love you. Just once."

Just once? Was he frakking kidding? Did he really think she could give herself to him just once? She didn't have to give him her soul, but she knew she would. She already had. There had never been anything casual about their relationship, and it wouldn't start now.

"Look, I know you're committed elsewhere," he said, head down, gazing at the floor. "But that doesn't mean we can't have something as well, does it?" Lee looked up then and Kara felt her resolve slipping. She claimed to love Anders. Is this the kind of thing a person even contemplates when they think they think they love someone? What did that say about her? What did it say about them?

Maybe she just needed to get Lee out of her system. Maybe that's what he thought as well. That he could go on to be happy with Dee once he'd had her. The curiosity would be satisfied and they could go on to be the friends they claimed to be. But Kara knew better. Sleeping together wouldn't exorcise each other from their souls, it would only make the hunger worse, and she didn't want to be the other woman. The one he saw in secret, frakking frantically to get his fix. Frankly, she deserved more and if that meant she had to forgo carnal knowledge of Lee Adama, so be it.

Kara smiled sadly at him. "I never thought I would be the voice of reason in anything."

"But. . . ."

"But you know this can't happen," she said. "It's not just about us."

Lee nodded in agreement, taking a step closer to her once again. Kara fought the urge to back up; she wasn't going to let him intimidate her. She was sticking to her guns, no matter how much desire she saw in the depths of his eyes.

"What if it was?" he asked, still advancing on her.

"Does it matter? There are other people to consider, here."

"Just answer the question, Kara."

She knew the answer, but didn't want to tell him. She didn't want to give him a reason to throw what few morals they had out the air lock. Kara turned her back to him, unable to face the want she saw in his eyes, knowing it was reflected in her own. She jumped slightly when she felt his hand on her shoulder, closing her eyes as she felt his hand caressing the base of her neck. His hand continued its journey until he came in contact with the band holding her hair in place. Whispering in her ear, Lee caused shivers to travel her spine.

"Please, Kara."

Oh, Gods! Did he think she was made of stone? How could he stoop so low? Turning in his arms, she buried her face in his shoulder so she wouldn't have to face his eyes. His fingers had removed her hair band and were moving to separate the strands.

At first she couldn't speak. If either of them spoke it would break the spell, and her rebellious body now decided to silence what objections her mind had. She needed this. She needed him.

"Starbuck," she said, looking up at him, hoping he'd catch her meaning. When his eyebrows puckered in confusion, she clarified. "This is between Starbuck and Apollo." She could convince herself this was acceptable if it happened between their alter egos.

Lee nodded his understanding, as he took his time, threading his fingers through her hair, stroking her neck. This was nothing like their frenetic almost-coupling of a few weeks ago, and that was what was scaring her the most. A quick sexual release she could deal with. Lee loving her with his heart as well as his body was a different story.

Kara started to feel a bubble of panic rising, but Lee must have sensed the change, as he pulled her closer whispering "shhhh" into her ear. He just held her, continuing to run his fingers through her hair until she calmed. It wasn't right that he should know her so well. Know what she needed before she herself did.

Slowly, Kara began to move on her own, unbuttoning his jacket. She heard Lee's intake of breath as her fingers grazed his chest through his tanks, as she worked on removing his outer clothing. Taking her cue from Lee, Kara took her time, slowly drawing the material over his arms. Once free, Lee returned his hands to Kara's head, pulling her forward to kiss her. The last kiss they'd shared had been so frenzied she hadn't had a chance to enjoy it. She wasn't going to make the same mistake this time.

Lee's lips were soft, questing, as he gently held her, but Kara was starting to tire of Lee's tentative behavior. Perhaps he thought if he rushed her, she'd change her mind. Nothing was further from the truth. While she wasn't in nearly the hurry she'd been a few weeks ago, she was impatient to feel more than just Lee's lips on hers. Opening her mouth, she tangled her tongue with his, inviting him to show her what he had to offer. Taking the hint, Lee explored her mouth with his tongue, his teeth and his lips until Kara was breathless.

"You've been holding that out on me?" she sighed, returning to his mouth in an effort to prove she knew a thing or two as well. Lee was sliding his hands under her tanks as she continued to kiss him, and she felt a moan escape as his fingers grazed her breasts. The man had magic hands. She'd always admired his hands. Strong and confident with long fingers, they could be sensitive and sturdy at the same time. He was proving the point now as he gripped the skin of her back while sliding his hands forward to work on removing her shirts.

Kara's hands mirrored Lee's, gliding beneath his tanks. He closed his eyes, letting his head fall back as her nails raked his chest and back. She knew she was leaving marks, but she didn't care. She wasn't afraid to brand him as her own.

"Gods, what you do to me Kar--Starbuck," he mumbled as his lips came in contact her exposed throat, determined to leave a mark of his own. Pushing the material of her tank away, he gently bit on the curve of her breast, knowing he was bruising her. Nothing that would be visible, but Kara would know it was there. The slight pain would be a reminder of their time together.

Kara pulled his head back up to hers again, roughly kissing him as she pushed him towards the bunk. "Pants off. Now," she commanded as she began working the string on her sweats. Boots came next, being kicked away as her pants slid down her hips. Kara slowed down now, torturing Lee with her deliberate show of stripping.

Lying on the bunk, Lee had his hands behind his head, grinning madly at her. Obviously he was enjoying her exhibition. She hoped she didn't disappoint him with the rest of her performance. Not that she'd had any complaints, but this was Lee. She couldn't even say what it was that set him apart. She only knew there'd been something between them from the moment they met. Only they'd both expended so much energy on denial, they could have powered all of Galactica.

Kara stood naked before him, enjoying the appreciation she saw in his eyes.   
She was sure her own eyes were revealing her own admiration. The man was definitely a gift of the gods. Reaching out a hand, Lee wound his fingers with hers, pulling her down on top of him. She couldn't help her gasp as their bodies made contact. Raking her fingers through his hair, Kara pulled him closer for another kiss. This one wasn't teasing or out to impress. This was her trying to let him know all that was in her heart without articulating it. She couldn't say it. There were too many extenuating circumstances.

Lee finally broke the kiss to get some air, already breathing hard. "You drive me insane," he said, flipping them over and pressing her into the thin mattress. His mouth descended on hers and Kara felt reality slipping away. A whole room full of pilots could have been standing there watching them and she wouldn't know or care. Lee was her universe and he was all-encompassing.

Nudging her legs apart, he entered her slowly, causing Kara to arch her back at the glorious sensation. Had anyone ever fit her so perfectly? She refused to think of Zak or to compare the two of them. Zak was gone and Lee was most definitely here.

Lee hadn't moved within her, and Kara wondered at his control. Her eyes were closed, enjoying feeling him inside her as she felt his lips on her left breast as a hand caressed the right. There was no stopping the sigh she breathed as her senses were being attacked from several angles.

"You are a god, Apollo" she hissed through clenched teeth. She needed to hang on. She didn't want this delicious feeling to end yet. But she was close and Kara knew it wouldn't be long once he started moving within her before she shattered.

They were curiously silent as Lee gave into his need to be in motion. It wasn't that she didn't have the words; she just knew she couldn't profess her love for him verbally. She hoped he understood all she was saying with her actions.

The damn man must have been psychic because he leaned forward and whispered, "Me too."

Kara was unreasonably pleased at the prospect that they were finally in the same place at the same time emotionally. This wasn't forever, it was for the few moments they carved from time, but for now, it was enough.

Attacking Lee's back, Kara was desperate for something to cling to as she felt an orgasm start to roll through her. "Oh, Gods!" she cried into his shoulder, hoping to muffle her exclamation against his skin.

"Go with it, Starbuck," he instructed, shifting slightly to hit her in exactly the right spot that started another wave of pleasure building within her. Wrapping her legs around Lee's hips, she urged him to continue, biting her lower lip to keep from calling out his name. She was on the edge when she arched suddenly, grasping his upper arms with such strength, she was probably leaving impressions of her fingers.

She was panting from her exertions, pushing damp strands of hair out of her face. "Your turn," she said, switching their positions. Lee had slid from her, but she soon remedied the situation by straddling his hips and slowly moving down on him. Now it was Lee's turn to suck in a breath, bunching the blankets in his fists as his hips began to surge forward, almost involuntarily.

"Not just yet," she teased. She wasn't ready to have this over in a few short thrusts. Lee's hands left the covers and snaked up her sides, testing the weight of her breasts before moving his fingers to her hardened nipples.

"I thought this was about you," she sighed, head back, wondering if she was going to come again before he did.

"How do you know it isn't?" he asked, sitting up to take her right breast into his mouth. Her lower body was humming, as she felt him growing even harder. Pushing him back to the bunk, Kara began to slide up and down his length, rocking forward to pull him deeper. Lee opened his eyes and met her gaze. There was lust there, certainly, but something more as well. She'd never seen him look at her quite that way before and it sent a thrill through her.

"You're so beautiful," he said, pushing the hair back from her face, and for the first time in a long time, she believed it.

Kara knew another orgasm was imminent and increased the speed of her movements, leaning next to his ear to quietly order him, "Come with me, Apollo. Third time's the charm."

Lee needed little encouragement to finish what they'd started. Kara bent forward and kissed him roughly, sparing with his tongue and biting his lips. Both were breathing so hard they were sharing the same breath, and for some reason, Kara found that thought highly erotic. Lee's hands were massaging her breasts as she sat up, waiting for his final thrust, the one that would send them both to commune with the gods.

"Oh Gods, Ka—Starbuck!" he groaned as he came with a Kobol-shattering shudder.

Collapsing onto his chest, Kara smiled, working to control her breathing. After a moment, she said, "we still fly pretty good together, Apollo." Suddenly, Lee sobered and Kara could feel the tension take over his body. Sitting up slightly, she ran her hand over his cheek. "What is it?"

"I just realized, as commander of the Pegasus, I'm probably not going to be flying anymore. I'm not going to be flying with you anymore. In any capacity," he said pointedly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. Kara lay back down, savoring the last few minutes of intimacy as their skin cooled. She didn't want to think of this as being good-bye, or even farewell, but she knew it had to be. Maybe this was meant to be just once. Each time they met.

The End


End file.
